Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize