it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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