It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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