and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
