Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
