Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
