The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
