Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
