using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
