what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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