he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
