THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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