I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize
