I wanna passion pit in your ass
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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