she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i've created a new STD.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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