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So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She bit a glass in half.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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