I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
