A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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