please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize