i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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