So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
