mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
