4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize