10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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