did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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