3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
