Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
