I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
