I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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