I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
