just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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