hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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