Too much gin, very little bucket
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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