He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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