bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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