Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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