Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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