if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
