I just made out with a guy for $7.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
That accounts for only three of the penises
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
