you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
