I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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