my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
