they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
