Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Randomize
