dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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