it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
