I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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