I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
