my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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