HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
