Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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