I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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