Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Randomize
