hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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