We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize