Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
