I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
you never un-have a 4some
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
