I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
