We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
