I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
