So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
