What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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