I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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