Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize