what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
