I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
