we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
