yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
