My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
